SELF CARE IDEAS

This may sound overly simplistic, but GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO DO NOTHING. As long as it takes. Yes, my husband had to take on the vast majority of work around the house. Yes, there were things that didn’t get done because he was struggling in as many ways as I was physically fighting for my life. But I am so thankful he allowed me the time and opportunity to take as much time as needed to rest. (And by “allowed me,” I actually mean forced me. Truly. I hate doing nothing long term. If I came out of the bedroom, he would turn me around and face me back toward the bed.)

What is Reiki you may ask? To leave it to the experts “Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by ‘laying on hands’ and is based on the idea that an unseen ‘life force energy’ flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one's ‘life force energy’ is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.” (Sourced from www.reiki.org/faqs/what-reiki) Thankfully, a friend connected me to a practitioner in our state. We did a session with some amazing healing energy music, that I later found some similar options to on YouTube to play during my bath time. You can search for Reiki Music or Healing Frequency Music to find some examples. What happens during a typical Reiki session? We had a talk about what was going on with my mind and body, what my goals were, and what she would do. She had some crystals that helped align chakras that she felt needed assistance, and to help with the energy flow around my body. She used healing energy to surround me, to help “heal” various areas, and to bring my body back to a more harmonious stage. I was never physically touched by her outside of an offer to help me lay down or sit up more safely. But I left feeling so much more empowered for my continuous healing journey.

Music is another thing that is healing to me in (nearly) all forms. When I began to work at a college, I had a student asked me what kind of music I listened to. I told him I listen to all kinds of music and he jokingly said “yeah, everyone says that.” He then gave me a music quiz to ask my favorite artist in different genres, and soon realized that I do listen to everything from classical and jazz, to pop and rock, to heavy metal and songs from musicals, and even songs from a wide variety of different countries and cultures. Music can bring me peace, pump up my energy, bring back fond (and sometimes not so fond) memories, and give me hope for the future. I understand not everyone likes all types of music, but I hope you have at least one genre that can bring you peace or hope. If you do, listen to it! Basically this list is a lot of things that bring me happiness and peace, so use whatever you have that does the same for you!

There are a lot of different opinions on the use of essential oils, so let me start out with my stance on their use, and then go from there. We know essential oils have been around for a long time. They predate modern medicine. To me, the use of essential oils can be so beneficial to a person, however that should not replace modern medicine for many uses. I utilize essential oils, but I still take my medicines for my heart, my pain, my anxiety, and a few various vitamin supplements that are beneficial to me. I still take prebiotics and probiotics to help my gut. I think when used in combination with modern medicine, they are great. I do not believe anyone should simply stop all medicines or ignore all modern medicine simply because they have heard an oil works for that. Talk with your medical or mental health professionals first and heed their advice. Okay, now that is out of the way. Let’s get back to my use of aromatherapy and essential oils. They were definitely a part of my healing process. As advised above, I was very careful about what I used. I read literature about the oils, I read information provided with my prescriptions. There are some scents I can’t stand – so they make me feel worse. One such example, I am not a fan of licorice smells and we know anise has a licorice smell. One of the oil mixes that was supposed to help with gut health smelled heavily of anise, so I could not use it. Some oils are dangerous for use around pets, so I had to be considerate of that as well. What did I use oils for? Relaxing scents that made me happier. In combination with other natural ingredients to make sunscreen because I have very sensitive skin (something I think I have failed to mention in my other writing so far, so now I get to go back and check that I’ve added that information in for you in appropriate places!) Similarly, if I have a sunburn, there are some oils that have helped me relieve the pain and promote healing. I have used some mixes to topically assist with relieving pain. I am personally not a fan of ingesting essential oils, but I don’t hate on people who do – it is my personal comfort level.

I know, I know... everyone says to do this. A few years ago, I could honestly say I never got it. I’m a word based thinker. Did you know some people actually can see pictures in their minds? I can’t. I talk to myself in my head. I have never understood the point of “close your eyes and picture yourself on the beach” because all I “see” is black and the occasional red if there is a bright light in front of me. I did find help through Guided Meditation through apps like Calm and Headspace. Honestly, I am still not that great at meditation. My mind continues to race to other subjects. But – I continue to try to improve and take time to purposely clear my thoughts, refocus on the words of the guide, and bring myself to a more peaceful place.

This change has taken on several iterations throughout my journey. Prior to my Reiki session, I was encouraged to try a few days of only raw fruits and vegetables to help my body get in tune with a natural state as much as possible. I was still in a place of not having much of an appetite, so it was actually rather easy to accomplish. I then tried gluten free and dairy free on my own after doing some research and discussions with a nutritionist, and that helped a good deal, but not completely. In doing further research on my own, I found the Low Fodmap Diet online. Further talks with the dietitian at my doctor’s office led me to try this option. I was very intrigued by the fact that the Low Fodmap research was coming heavily out of Monash University, which was one of the nine universities in Australia that were part of the Australia Study Tour I took part in during graduate school. This diet is a treatment for individuals with IBS and initially eliminates six major fermentable carbohydrate chains from your diet. You introduce each category, one at a time, in limited servings, to see your body’s reaction to it (bloating, gas, restroom needs, etc.) and then move on to a different category, trying each before reintroducing a combination of the safe options from your initial trials. More about the process can be found at www.monashfodmap.com.

Grounding is making physical contact with the earth – whether grass, sand, dirt, rocks, any part of our natural surroundings. I really don’t suggest lava, but I mean… you do you, friend! (Joke… total joke. DO NOT TOUCH LAVA, please!) Getting outside more helped me feel better because I have a love of nature. Some of you may not enjoy nature, and I understand. For me, I went to sleep away camps growing up and enjoyed other outdoor experiences like white water, rafting, and rock climbing. The fresh air usually helps me feel better no matter what temperature it is, although I do have a harder time now dealing with extreme conditions in either direction – hot or cold. Since beginning homeschooling with my children, we have gone on many camping trips to places such as national parks, state parks, and other fun areas. We even bought a camper which is called an Opus Camper AIR Tent, which has a lot of windows to let in fresh air and truly be surrounded by nature. It is different than a lot of other campers, in that you can go off grid with the camper. I feel like our family escapes in the Opus has helped me tremendously, as well as helping my husband with his own health battles.

Long, relaxing, hot baths. Buy yourself a bath pillow. Get some good smelling bath bombs and/or Epsom salts. Play some Guided Meditation tracks or find healing music (I’ll touch more on this in a bit.) Stay in the water until it gets cold. If you have an awesome water heater, don’t feel bad if you “cheat” to stay a bit longer by topping off the water with more hot water. Let yourself float if you can. Remember, I’m a giant. At no point is all of me under water in our tubs, but I can still get various parts of me to float at different points to feel weightlessness in that part of my body. Feel the impacts of your breath with your body’s natural buoyancy in the water. Breathe out the bad, in the good. (Yes, that’s super cheesy, but imagine it or say it to yourself in your head. It really does help.)

I am someone who has loved travel for a long time. Even though as a child (and still now to some degree) I get travel anxiety leading to trips, I enjoy seeing different parts of the world. As I am writing this, I have personally visited countries on three continents and, ideally, I would love to visit all seven by the end of my life. Travel expands your horizons, allows you to connect with nature, and gives you such a different perspective on life. Seeing natural wonders with beautiful hikes around the world gives you a sense of wonder as to how small we all are in our wonderful world, and the greatness of the creation of the Earth. Finding spaces away from modern sounds can help you find peace and serenity. Seeing a completely different landscape to your home area opens your mind to many other possibilities. You can also find new favorite things you never knew existed (or that weren’t highlighted in your education prior to the trip) like my favorite Australian animal, the Wombat, or the many wonderful flavors of helado (ice cream) available in Mexico based on natural fruits and using water/ice instead of cream.

More recently, I have gotten back into swimming. As a child, I took swim lessons and then joined the local outdoor pool swim team. I swam during my senior year for my high school and served as a lifeguard and swim lesson instructor in my late teens and early 20s. I spent a few summers as the Waterfront Director at some local Girl Scout camps. Getting back in the water has helped me mentally and physically. It has helped introduce swimming to my kids, who have since joined summer and year-round swimming programs, and even my husband is swimming regularly now. I am happy that my kids have found friends who share their love of the sport. Swimming is actually one of the better sports for people with EDS and hypermobility because it does not put as much pressure on the joints as many contact sports. Many neurodivergent and invisible illness families are drawn to swimming as well, so it allows us all to connect in other aspects of our lives too.